The Tone of Voice

It’s not so much what we say 
As the manner in which we say it; 
It’s not so much the language we use 
As the tone in which we convey it; 
“Come here!”, I sharply said, 
And the child cowered and wept. 
“Come here,” I said- 
He looked and smiled 
And straight to my lap he crept. 

Words may be mild and fair 
And the tone may pierce like a dart; 
Words may be soft as the summer air; 
But the tone may break my heart; 
For words come from the mind 
Grow by study and art---- 
But tone leaps from the inner self 
Revealing the state of the heart. 
 

Whether we know it or not, 
Whether we mean or care, 
Gentleness, kindness, love, and hate, 
Envy, anger, are there. 
Then, would we quarrels avoid 
And peace and love rejoice? 
Keep anger not only out of your words- 
Keep it out of your voice.

~Author Unknown

(Though many claim it.)

We Are Resources for Refugees

ROP was visited by three women from a church on the Southwest side of metro Denver, looking for resources for the refugees who sought help from their large church, but live in our neighborhood.

The church had risen to the occasion and were starting to outreach with them in North Aurora.  However, they didn’t know what additional resources might be available in the local area.  They had dropped by to learn more.

I filled them in about what is available at ROP.  I shared the struggle that many of us have about finding resources and tracking them for our communities.  Yet, the most interesting part of the conversation happened when the topic turned to some of the frustrating attempts to have mothers adhere to the rules.

I asked for an example.  “How do we get them to put shoes on their children in winter?”

“Don’t let them on the bus,” another suggested.  They explained that many of the children they picked up for children’s church were in flip flops, even with snow on the ground.  I asked what their mothers had been wearing on their feet. They looked at each other and then me. “I don’t recall.”

I explained that we had noticed an  issue with the children was often mirrored with the parents.  Slippers, sandals and flip flops were common.

In getting to know the moms, we were able to get a read on the fact that shoes were bought that were familiar to their culture before climate was considered.  Once bought, the money or shoes could not be replaced easily.

We began offering shoes, but the families were reluctant to accept.  They had bought shoes, they were providing for their children, they would make do.

Then I got to know one mother even a little better.  I shared with her about my own children and the way they grow so quickly, the colds that they bring home from school, the price of medicine and my desire to see them healthy.  I shared about husbands doing so much for the family and we women making things stretch.  As a friend, the shoes were welcomed.  I received a beautiful scarf in return.

We don’t all learn from cultural cues on the nightly news (in English) or what other cultures are wearing (they’re different).  Yet, trusted information can come from one another through relationship.  Friends that we feel know us and are not attempting to change us, only help us grow.

God built us to be the best resource to one another, even if it’s helping a friend link into other trusted resources, too.

The Gift of Christmas

This year, my family and I will not be spending our Christmas together.

With kids away at college or spending the day with the other side of the family, there will be no kids at home.  My husband is working at United, so I will be visiting my folks for lunch and a few stocking stuffers.

It’s wonderful when you can have family, even difficult ones, for the holidays.  I have served many that had none, so shared it with our ministry.

This year, and years like it, take me to a different side of the gift Christ brought to us.

Matt 5:3-12

The blessings for the poor, those who mourn, the meek, they who hunger & thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers. Blessings for those persecuted for righteousness and you who are insulted, persecuted & falsely accused for His sake.

Rejoice and be glad.  He is come. Hope reigns!

Trying to be Heard

I am reminded often, by our community, that I have a lot to learn about justice, mercy and walking humbly with my God.

News channels and social media are ripe with strong emotions, with anger, fear and sad mournful messages, about all that has been going on around our country because of Ferguson.

I went to a city meeting of leaders in Aurora, CO, and felt tensions rise and fall around these same conversations.  Their point was that we have to be more than just reactionary.

I have appreciated my home church and pastors not shying away from cultural talks and the scriptures that speak to Christ’s perspective and response in trying times.  Yet, I think the thing that has touched my heart the most is a young woman who shared her heart and pain and taught me something.

As we got past her reactions to the headlines, to the heart of her pain, she confessed, “I know why I’m mad.  I met another half–brother yesterday.  My daddy been sleeping with so many, I might be related to half this town.”

“Stupid, it all ain’t nothin’ but stupid.  Mama got more money if dad wasn’t around.  They paid my daddy to leave.  I got 16 that I know of.  Now, I don’t trust white people, say they want to help and then make it so he can’t stay with us.

“But men are dogs.  They don’t have a family to keep ‘um straight, then they stray.  I ain’t havin’ no babies.  Who knows if I might be related to most of these boys in my school.”

It was her anger, hurt and loss talking.  I was here to listen, not judge or preach.  Only validate her and her very real pain. 

I worry that we’re all so busy trying to teach each other a lesson loudly or violently that we’ve forgotten that someone has to feel heard and acknowledged first.  Then in relationship we can begin to bring the darkness to light and try to heal.

Next month will see the celebration of Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday.  A movie is coming out about Selma.  Are we listening to people or just reacting to far away news?  I pray I’m listening with my whole heart and learning, too.