I’ve known D~ for five years. I met her when she came to Colorado at age 13 to live with her grandmother. Her story is fraught with drama; alcoholic mother, a father & step-fathers that abused her, two siblings each with a different dad from hers. She was passed around in the family a lot because mom always chose men, alcohol and drugs over her children.
When I first met her, she was withdrawn, quiet and a veracious reader, unless she got mad, her temper could burn you to the ground, but it was never her first choice. She was never a fighter, she craved peace and stability. She is the first in four generations to graduate high school, and she did it on time.
I met T~ only after they became parents together. I had heard about their relationship for over a year, through D~. She didn’t paint me a glowing picture, but even I could see there was a connection and a growing love . When the pregnancy was shared with her family, she was disowned. Their ultimatum was, they would help her, only if she got rid of T~.
T~’s past is filled with a grandmother that cares but couldn’t take him in from his meth addict mom, so he was in the foster care system by age seven. This system could have helped him, if he hadn’t run away from several homes and made a lot of poor choices without support. He spent a lot of time in detention with misdemeanors and bad roll models. Yet, his heart wanted more. He completed high school and chanced upon a young woman that had faith in him. They fell in love. His family is supportive of their relationship, but the family has no resources and addictions and drama of their own.
One of the first things God taught me in ministry is key; listening, a lot! Through the 10 plus years I’ve been a missionary, I know that sitting down with a teen to write out a list of their dreams and goals tells me a lot about where their head and heart is, as well as what they value and cherish.
Sitting down with T~, just getting to know him, we made up a list, with no ideas from me until he was done, or only to answer a question. He is passionate about finding work because the money will help solidify his future and take care of his past. His first goal: earn enough to pay for a marriage license. Then he wants to take care of restitution and probation fees that he owes to Adams County for his juvenile record, etc. So we talked more about options. He’s excited about Joshua Station’s Transitional Housing program because it gives them two years, with classes on parenting, job skills, budgeting, etc. His words: “I can learn what my family never knew. I want to take care of D~ & their daughter the right way.”
I might be ministering to this young family and answering a lot of their questions about resources, God & faith. Yet, Jesus is using this little family, fighting the odds, to grow me and my faith. He never stops drawing us closer to Him, using our willing hearts to learn through the relationships He draws us into, what His heart for us really is: just to be His loving family.
